Why is it that I can go to a restaurant, and people who have been waiting longer than me will have to wait longer still... just because the waiter/waitress takes favoritism to me because they think we have something in common? [e.g. race/ability to speak their language]
Likewise, why does that work in reverse? (Even if we're seated at the same friggin table on the same ticket!!)
Why is it that mechanics assume that girls should be toyed with and charged more money for routine repairs and/or something as simple as an oil change? Why is it that it takes my mom twice as long to get the same oil change as my stepdad?
Where in the hell did 'all men are created equal' go??
Why is everything so darn black and white? Why must we all have this 'you're either for us or against us' attitude?
Why is good service and kindness reserved only for those we want to impress? Or those who we think will pay out better, or are pleasing to the eye?
Screw that!
No one is higher or better or lower or any less or more deserving.
Singling out someone for better or worse reasons, is uncool
Making uninformed decisions and attaching labels is uncool
Telling me that something is 'not acceptable to society' means its 'wrong', when really its just your fear of the unknown and lack of knowledge that teaches you such judgmental thoughts, is uncool
People of America........... don't be uncool
Don't be stupid
We're fighting wars in other countries and each struggling with economic times.
Why the heck would you start battlefields with your allys here at home?
Showing posts with label ranting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ranting. Show all posts
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Your photgrapher wants us to take a picture.....
Definitely the phrase of the weekend.
Its funny how because I've taken pictures of these people before, I recognize them... but they didn't remember me because I always have a camera in my face.
The life of a photographer. :)
Also, Google maps - you suck. You told me to make a left turn when I should have made a right turn. Why didn't you tell me there was construction and detours and a brand new road in my path?
You suck.
Anyway, I'd like to address one more thing:
Dear Lee Majors
Where the heck have you been the past 30 years?
Must you stoop down to a 3am infomercial that is falsely making people believe that they're getting some futuristic piece of technology, when it's actually the *same old hearing aid* that anyone can get from any other 3am infomercial.
Sell something that is bionically believable.. Like a bionic camera or a bionic computer flash drive. OH I KNOW!! Sell a bionic electric guitar, I'd sooo buy that.
Bionic Hearing Aid?? Really?? Is that the best you can do? 'It won't cost you six million dollars.'
Don't you have at least 6 million dollars?
Sincerely,
Fan of yours
Anyway, hope the weekend went well for everyone.
Fortune time:
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED GETS YOU HELPLESSLY LOST.
Its funny how because I've taken pictures of these people before, I recognize them... but they didn't remember me because I always have a camera in my face.
The life of a photographer. :)
Also, Google maps - you suck. You told me to make a left turn when I should have made a right turn. Why didn't you tell me there was construction and detours and a brand new road in my path?
You suck.
Anyway, I'd like to address one more thing:
Dear Lee Majors
Where the heck have you been the past 30 years?
Must you stoop down to a 3am infomercial that is falsely making people believe that they're getting some futuristic piece of technology, when it's actually the *same old hearing aid* that anyone can get from any other 3am infomercial.
Sell something that is bionically believable.. Like a bionic camera or a bionic computer flash drive. OH I KNOW!! Sell a bionic electric guitar, I'd sooo buy that.
Bionic Hearing Aid?? Really?? Is that the best you can do? 'It won't cost you six million dollars.'
Don't you have at least 6 million dollars?
Sincerely,
Fan of yours
Anyway, hope the weekend went well for everyone.
Fortune time:
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED GETS YOU HELPLESSLY LOST.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I am not from Texas.....
So I was watching The Biggest Loser, and I was all, Hooray Texas! Go Michelle! Go Jillian's Team for winning yet again! I was jumping up and down saying 'Woohoo! Go Dallas girl! I knew you could win it!'
But then.....
*dramatic heavy sigh*
....the next tv show came on.
'Mamma's Boys.'
And suddenly, being from Texas has become the worst thing to hit reality tv.
Dallas contestant trying to win herself a mamma's boy has been to jail.
Houston contestant has 'stainless steel cantelope sized balls' [hypothetically speaking she says]
....and Corpus Christi is on crack.
I swear it, she's on crack. The first 5 seconds of watching her will prove it.
So there you have it.
I am not from Texas anymore.
Fortune time:
YOUR PERSONALITY DEFINES YOU
But then.....
*dramatic heavy sigh*
....the next tv show came on.
'Mamma's Boys.'
And suddenly, being from Texas has become the worst thing to hit reality tv.
Dallas contestant trying to win herself a mamma's boy has been to jail.
Houston contestant has 'stainless steel cantelope sized balls' [hypothetically speaking she says]
....and Corpus Christi is on crack.
I swear it, she's on crack. The first 5 seconds of watching her will prove it.
So there you have it.
I am not from Texas anymore.
Fortune time:
YOUR PERSONALITY DEFINES YOU
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
ER 101
So now that I can type with two hands again, I present to you the lessons I learned while sitting in the emergency room.
First lets define emergency, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. e⋅mer⋅gen⋅cy
[i-mur-juhn-see] noun, plural -cies, adjective
–noun / a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action.
Now that you know what it means, here's the rules.
First rule.
Your kid's snotty nose does not warrant a trip to the ER. Especially if he is well and able enough to run around smacking the back of everyone's chairs, shake the vending machine until it breaks, or scream at random for no reason.
This also means that you do not have to bring the kids brothers and sisters who are not sick or have no emergency. You also don't have to bring their cousins. Or their uncle. Or grandma and grandpa and the rest of the extended family.
I mean seriously?? For a snotty nose?? Why the heck would you pile up so many people for?
You do not need to be in the emergency room for that. You need to go to HEB or Kroger and go to the medicine aisle and get some kid's cough and cold cherry syrup and stop taking up every single chair available. Sicker more emergency-stricken people could use them.
And should you disregard this rule, then you are hereby ordered to put your kids, cousins, and any other person that is not old enough to drink, on a tight leash and keep them in your immediate reaching radius.
Next rule
An emergency room is NOT a restaurant. There are no reservations, there is no one to wait on you and give you whatever you want when you snap your fingers, nor is anyone obligated to take orders from you. YOU have an emergency, and you are not in a position to be a mean [swear word], because the people you are working so diligently to piss off can decide that your emergency isn't important..... and that leaves you back at square one.
So mister 'I have a business in Market Street and have giant gas guzzling cars' - if your tush gets out of your chair when the waiting room is standing room only, every man for himself ER - I will **not** hold your spot. Didn't you ever hear the saying, 'move your meat, lose your seat'? And how dare you try to demand that after you walk away for 30 minutes - HALF AN HOUR - that I move once you return so you can have your seat back. This is not a restaurant, and there are no reservations. No no guy, don't mess with me. ESPECIALLY when I'm in pain and clearly have more of an emergency than your moneybags have ever seen or known. Its not my fault that your penny loafers don't know what solid ground feels like since you've apparently bullied everyone around you into thinking they need to act as your footstool. Maybe if you offered me some of your mountains of cash that you brag about, I might be inclined to do you that small favor instead of you demanding that I am lesser than you and therefore should listen to your money. Go buy yourself some manners and social skills.
Next rule
Don't be drunk. Drinking, you see, is supposed to be in moderation. Being DRUNK in a place that's not a bar is considered public intoxication, which will get you arrested. And if you showed up to the hospital drunk, you probably drove. And drinking while intoxicated is illegal. And OH YEAH -- hospital staff do blood tests, and if you have an illegal amount of alcohol in your system, the good old boys in blue will be paying you a visit. Hospital staff, you see, can't be held liable for letting a person who has a BAC over the legal limit back on the street... because you might hit someone, and that someone might sue the hospital for not sending you off safely. So you get to go to jail instead.
Next rule
Dude...... your stab wound, blood stained hands, and dirty torn up clothes tell the whole story. You obviously fought with someone, and they got the better of you. And you look like you were probably not 'fighting' with someone, but rather ATTACKING someone, and they got the upperhand and showed you something you weren't expecting, therefore your crime that you tried to commit just got rained on.
Don't go to the hospital. They will call the police because you look suspicious.
The patients in the waiting room will call the police because you look like the guy I just saw on America's Most Wanted, and we overheard you calling your buddy on your cellphone, panic stricken, telling them how you 'cant talk right now' but things didnt go as planned.
Next rule
The phonebook by the telephone is a resource material for people who might need to use it to perhaps call a number listed in it. You may not give it to your kids as a toy to tear pages out of and throw paper balls or paper airplanes or make spit wads out of.
Next rule
NO TEXT MESSAGING DARN IT! The sick lady who is obviously having an emergency cannot sleep when your text messages keep ringing every 2 seconds. PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL THAT PERSON -- don't spend 3 hours sending 10 words back and forth. And if you choose to disregard this rule, put your phone on SILENT!
Next rule
The tv on closed captioning lets those of us who can't hear the tv know whats going on despite your loud phone conversation, shouting screaming kids, and ringing text messages. We all just saw what happened. You do not need to keep recapping for us. 'OH MAN Did you just see that! So and so just did this!
I know. The person next to me knows. EVERYONE knows. We all are staring at the tv because we're pretending not to notice the rest of the annoyances, and we're biting our tongue so we dont lash out at stupid penny loafers who is demanding that sick people wait on him. We are paying more attention to the tv than we do in our own homes. Really, you don't need to narrate for us.
Next rule
Do NOT socialize with the drunk man! He'll think he's in a bar and then try to hit on the rest of us! Seriously!!
Next rule
Do try and make an effort to listen for your name. Don't ask me if they called your name because I don't know your name... we haven't even met. And I'm not interested in meeting people in the emergency room. I'm interested in getting my emergency taken care of
Anyhow I can keep going... but this should be enough learning material for you today.
As for the doctors, nurses, interns, reception desk, and other hospital staff - you guys were awesome and gave me some fantastic care! But get a police officer to do security detail. Then he would have thrown drunk guy away, and I could have told the noisy kids that the 'man in the uniform over there is watching you so BE QUIET!!', and maybe penny loafers would have realized that you don't have power unless you have a .22 strapped to your waist and a badge pinned to your chest.
[Police officers are awesome, and I have the utmost respect and admiration for them, by the way. :) ]
So there you have it. As GI JOE Would say...
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!
Fortune time!
SUPPORT BACTERIA -- IT'S THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE!
First lets define emergency, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. e⋅mer⋅gen⋅cy
[i-mur-juhn-see] noun, plural -cies, adjective
–noun / a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action.
Now that you know what it means, here's the rules.
First rule.
Your kid's snotty nose does not warrant a trip to the ER. Especially if he is well and able enough to run around smacking the back of everyone's chairs, shake the vending machine until it breaks, or scream at random for no reason.
This also means that you do not have to bring the kids brothers and sisters who are not sick or have no emergency. You also don't have to bring their cousins. Or their uncle. Or grandma and grandpa and the rest of the extended family.
I mean seriously?? For a snotty nose?? Why the heck would you pile up so many people for?
You do not need to be in the emergency room for that. You need to go to HEB or Kroger and go to the medicine aisle and get some kid's cough and cold cherry syrup and stop taking up every single chair available. Sicker more emergency-stricken people could use them.
And should you disregard this rule, then you are hereby ordered to put your kids, cousins, and any other person that is not old enough to drink, on a tight leash and keep them in your immediate reaching radius.
Next rule
An emergency room is NOT a restaurant. There are no reservations, there is no one to wait on you and give you whatever you want when you snap your fingers, nor is anyone obligated to take orders from you. YOU have an emergency, and you are not in a position to be a mean [swear word], because the people you are working so diligently to piss off can decide that your emergency isn't important..... and that leaves you back at square one.
So mister 'I have a business in Market Street and have giant gas guzzling cars' - if your tush gets out of your chair when the waiting room is standing room only, every man for himself ER - I will **not** hold your spot. Didn't you ever hear the saying, 'move your meat, lose your seat'? And how dare you try to demand that after you walk away for 30 minutes - HALF AN HOUR - that I move once you return so you can have your seat back. This is not a restaurant, and there are no reservations. No no guy, don't mess with me. ESPECIALLY when I'm in pain and clearly have more of an emergency than your moneybags have ever seen or known. Its not my fault that your penny loafers don't know what solid ground feels like since you've apparently bullied everyone around you into thinking they need to act as your footstool. Maybe if you offered me some of your mountains of cash that you brag about, I might be inclined to do you that small favor instead of you demanding that I am lesser than you and therefore should listen to your money. Go buy yourself some manners and social skills.
Next rule
Don't be drunk. Drinking, you see, is supposed to be in moderation. Being DRUNK in a place that's not a bar is considered public intoxication, which will get you arrested. And if you showed up to the hospital drunk, you probably drove. And drinking while intoxicated is illegal. And OH YEAH -- hospital staff do blood tests, and if you have an illegal amount of alcohol in your system, the good old boys in blue will be paying you a visit. Hospital staff, you see, can't be held liable for letting a person who has a BAC over the legal limit back on the street... because you might hit someone, and that someone might sue the hospital for not sending you off safely. So you get to go to jail instead.
Next rule
Dude...... your stab wound, blood stained hands, and dirty torn up clothes tell the whole story. You obviously fought with someone, and they got the better of you. And you look like you were probably not 'fighting' with someone, but rather ATTACKING someone, and they got the upperhand and showed you something you weren't expecting, therefore your crime that you tried to commit just got rained on.
Don't go to the hospital. They will call the police because you look suspicious.
The patients in the waiting room will call the police because you look like the guy I just saw on America's Most Wanted, and we overheard you calling your buddy on your cellphone, panic stricken, telling them how you 'cant talk right now' but things didnt go as planned.
Next rule
The phonebook by the telephone is a resource material for people who might need to use it to perhaps call a number listed in it. You may not give it to your kids as a toy to tear pages out of and throw paper balls or paper airplanes or make spit wads out of.
Next rule
NO TEXT MESSAGING DARN IT! The sick lady who is obviously having an emergency cannot sleep when your text messages keep ringing every 2 seconds. PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL THAT PERSON -- don't spend 3 hours sending 10 words back and forth. And if you choose to disregard this rule, put your phone on SILENT!
Next rule
The tv on closed captioning lets those of us who can't hear the tv know whats going on despite your loud phone conversation, shouting screaming kids, and ringing text messages. We all just saw what happened. You do not need to keep recapping for us. 'OH MAN Did you just see that! So and so just did this!
I know. The person next to me knows. EVERYONE knows. We all are staring at the tv because we're pretending not to notice the rest of the annoyances, and we're biting our tongue so we dont lash out at stupid penny loafers who is demanding that sick people wait on him. We are paying more attention to the tv than we do in our own homes. Really, you don't need to narrate for us.
Next rule
Do NOT socialize with the drunk man! He'll think he's in a bar and then try to hit on the rest of us! Seriously!!
Next rule
Do try and make an effort to listen for your name. Don't ask me if they called your name because I don't know your name... we haven't even met. And I'm not interested in meeting people in the emergency room. I'm interested in getting my emergency taken care of
Anyhow I can keep going... but this should be enough learning material for you today.
As for the doctors, nurses, interns, reception desk, and other hospital staff - you guys were awesome and gave me some fantastic care! But get a police officer to do security detail. Then he would have thrown drunk guy away, and I could have told the noisy kids that the 'man in the uniform over there is watching you so BE QUIET!!', and maybe penny loafers would have realized that you don't have power unless you have a .22 strapped to your waist and a badge pinned to your chest.
[Police officers are awesome, and I have the utmost respect and admiration for them, by the way. :) ]
So there you have it. As GI JOE Would say...
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!
Fortune time!
SUPPORT BACTERIA -- IT'S THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
happy thanksgiving from your friendly neighborhood hospital
you know its going to be a strange thanksgiving when you spend the early hours of it in the emergency room.
thankyou god -- no broken bones, no cracks, just major major swelling. a full recovery is expected, and i will be back to playing guitar and typing with two hands in no time. no black friday for me though... so close!!!!! oh well, i have other things thar could have been worse. almost lost my finger if i hadnt been wearing my ring. :)
and because the injury [crushed hand] involved metal, i got to have this conversation at 1am ----
doc: when was your last tetnis shot?
me: i dont know?
doc: today, thats when
me: really? i dont think i remember that
doc: [holding rather large needle] i know, but i remember so its ok. [giant excited looking yet scary smile]
so i have one good hand, and i feel like i got hit with a baseball bat on my arm. ugh...
but im ok, as long as i keep it elevated and apply ice. :)
anyway, happy thanksgiving to all. stay out of the emergency room today. its packed, they will take a long time to get to you, and they dont have turkey in the vending machine.
fortune: As we live, so we learn
thankyou god -- no broken bones, no cracks, just major major swelling. a full recovery is expected, and i will be back to playing guitar and typing with two hands in no time. no black friday for me though... so close!!!!! oh well, i have other things thar could have been worse. almost lost my finger if i hadnt been wearing my ring. :)
and because the injury [crushed hand] involved metal, i got to have this conversation at 1am ----
doc: when was your last tetnis shot?
me: i dont know?
doc: today, thats when
me: really? i dont think i remember that
doc: [holding rather large needle] i know, but i remember so its ok. [giant excited looking yet scary smile]
so i have one good hand, and i feel like i got hit with a baseball bat on my arm. ugh...
but im ok, as long as i keep it elevated and apply ice. :)
anyway, happy thanksgiving to all. stay out of the emergency room today. its packed, they will take a long time to get to you, and they dont have turkey in the vending machine.
fortune: As we live, so we learn
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I have returned!
I'm back!
Today was all kinds of crazy, and going home didn't end it. Nope, got stranded on the way home. Actually broke down several times getting home. Thank goodness though -- I broke down AFTER I got the starbucks!! WOOOO!
And then on the way home I think I broke down in England.... seriously -- like three british people stopped to ask if I needed assistance. And then I think a German person stopped too?? Who knew that the other side of the atlantic was just a few blocks away from home!
So many of you are cheering today... and many of you are booing today. But its all over now, so we can all be friends and stop hating eachother because the person we voted for wasn't the person that someone else voted for. We don't need to vandalize anyone's signs, or puncture tires of a vehicle that has the 'wrong' support sticker on it.
Oh yeah! --- Tina Fey - you can stop freaking out because you can continue working on your show that no one really knows the time slot for anyway. You should get on those NBC people, Earl gets more commercials than you do. I might even watch it sometime if I knew when it came on.
Anyway I know my layout is kind of screwed up. I'm working on getting a new background in place and making it a bit more pleasing to the eyes.
The mouse went unclaimed, and was sent into the wild.
Stay tuned this week -- I'm going to start logging the diet!
With that being said, its fortune time.
IF A MAN IS WORTH KNOWING AT ALL, HE IS WORTH KNOWING WELL
Today was all kinds of crazy, and going home didn't end it. Nope, got stranded on the way home. Actually broke down several times getting home. Thank goodness though -- I broke down AFTER I got the starbucks!! WOOOO!
And then on the way home I think I broke down in England.... seriously -- like three british people stopped to ask if I needed assistance. And then I think a German person stopped too?? Who knew that the other side of the atlantic was just a few blocks away from home!
So many of you are cheering today... and many of you are booing today. But its all over now, so we can all be friends and stop hating eachother because the person we voted for wasn't the person that someone else voted for. We don't need to vandalize anyone's signs, or puncture tires of a vehicle that has the 'wrong' support sticker on it.
Oh yeah! --- Tina Fey - you can stop freaking out because you can continue working on your show that no one really knows the time slot for anyway. You should get on those NBC people, Earl gets more commercials than you do. I might even watch it sometime if I knew when it came on.
Anyway I know my layout is kind of screwed up. I'm working on getting a new background in place and making it a bit more pleasing to the eyes.
The mouse went unclaimed, and was sent into the wild.
Stay tuned this week -- I'm going to start logging the diet!
With that being said, its fortune time.
IF A MAN IS WORTH KNOWING AT ALL, HE IS WORTH KNOWING WELL
Saturday, October 11, 2008
This is why I watch my tv shows online...
I have a complaint about the swiffer wet-jet commercial
The lady is clearly using it on a wood floor
But for two.. no, not even two seconds -- like HALF a second -- there's a disclaimer "Do not use on unfinished wood." So why the heck try and trick people into using it on wood in the first place? Its a conspiracy -- the swiffer people must be teamed up with wood flooring people. Hey flooring people, we'll trick people into buying our product, and then trick them into ruining their floor. And then you can go get paid when they ruin their floor.
And what the heck -- trying to give life to inanimate objects?? There's only one commercial that truly pulls that off.
Lets face it people.... Mops are nasty.
They know they're nasty.
If you throw them away, they will forgive you.
They will not buy you chocolate or send you flowers. Most men don't even do that, why would a mop do that?
Swiffer people -- come talk to me. I'll show you how to make a good commercial that doesn't annoy people and ruin a perfectly good song.
Actually you know what -- no commercial thus far is more ridiculous than the new Axe Chocolate Man commercial.
Are you KIDDING?? Seriously?? That is so NOT irresistible!!! That's downright SCARY!!!
See..... this is why men are stupid. They're easily influenced by BS.
Okay not all men... just the men that buy that AXE spray and think it will make them irresistible.
Anyway, its fortune time.
YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE THIS FORTUNE.
The lady is clearly using it on a wood floor
But for two.. no, not even two seconds -- like HALF a second -- there's a disclaimer "Do not use on unfinished wood." So why the heck try and trick people into using it on wood in the first place? Its a conspiracy -- the swiffer people must be teamed up with wood flooring people. Hey flooring people, we'll trick people into buying our product, and then trick them into ruining their floor. And then you can go get paid when they ruin their floor.
And what the heck -- trying to give life to inanimate objects?? There's only one commercial that truly pulls that off.
Lets face it people.... Mops are nasty.
They know they're nasty.
If you throw them away, they will forgive you.
They will not buy you chocolate or send you flowers. Most men don't even do that, why would a mop do that?
Swiffer people -- come talk to me. I'll show you how to make a good commercial that doesn't annoy people and ruin a perfectly good song.
Actually you know what -- no commercial thus far is more ridiculous than the new Axe Chocolate Man commercial.
Are you KIDDING?? Seriously?? That is so NOT irresistible!!! That's downright SCARY!!!
See..... this is why men are stupid. They're easily influenced by BS.
Okay not all men... just the men that buy that AXE spray and think it will make them irresistible.
Anyway, its fortune time.
YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE THIS FORTUNE.
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