Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Year in Review...

The Year In Review.

No big fancy news of the year or anything like that. Just a few key events here and there that come to mind when I sit and think of this year overall.


January 2008
*Happy New Year! Having just moved into a higher end neighborhood, I get to experience the Times Square fireworks display from my own backyard. It's awesome
*I was still high off my previous Canada trip and couldn't believe my paycheck - I had two full weeks of vacation! So I was the craziest person in the office when I applied for ALL of my vacation days at once during this month.
*I was really focusing a lot of extra time into the book. Several chapter outlines and basic summaries were produced but never written in full...
*In Memoriam

February 2008
*Happy Birthday to lots of people!
*I attended maybe three birthday lunches in ONE WEEK at work this month but a bunch during the entire month overall. This is a good thing because there were many many birthday lunches the rest of the year, and in this month I learned which places to never eat at, and which ones were excellent.
*February 15 is also a monumental day for Randy Pausch, as he proudly holds a newspaper in a photograph and shows the world that it is exactly 6 months to the day he was told that he only had 'three to six months' left. I frequently find myself looking at this picture, reading his blog post on this day, and being inspired. When I felt that it was time to give up or I just couldn't make it to the finish line, I'd go back to this and see him, and see that even death's timeline - the one sure thing that we all have in common - was something that he proved he could take on and win.
*After reading Real Life Comics for 7 years, I finally get to meet Greg & Liz in person, and I discover where Lockhart, Texas is on a map.

March 2008
*Car repairs. Lots of them.
*Lots of prayers for Randy, as he reports his rollercoaster health for this month.
*Happy Birthday to a good friend of mine that, surprise surprise, I met online. She's been one of my closest friends throughout the years. At this time I hadn't seen her since the summer of 2007, so we bonded over Wii Bowling and anime, and our traditional Taco Bell & Mountain Dew.

April 2008
*Randy Pausch's 'The Last Lecture' is finally released in a book format. I buy it on release day.
*Easter! The days off work give me the opportunity to go spend some time with a dear friend out of town. I also, after passing it hundreds of times over the years, actually STOP for the first time ever and take a tour of the Giant Sam Houston statue.

May 2008
*I use my first sick day of the year for a legitimate reason - a doctor's checkup......... but then I use another one shortly later for a fake-follow up appointment, only to actually go out of town to a convention because I was stupid and already applied for [and got approved for] blowing all my vacation days for a trip at the end of the year... And one of my coworkers as well as several friends convinced me that 'sick days are extra vacation days in disguise'. I had a blast at the out of town three day weekend trip, but came back to work sicker than a dog.
*Randy Pausch gives his last public speech for the graduates at Carnegie Mellon. His words are more powerful than the 'last lecture' that I saw last year, because he says this: We don't beat the reaper by living longer, but we beat the reaper by living well. Find your passion. You will not find that passion in things or money - the more you have, the more you will see someone with more. It took me until I was 39 to get married because it took me that long to find someone whose happiness was more important than my own." Those words inspire me to re-evaluate why I'm still at work in a job that I really don't plan on making a career and retiring from. I have no passion for anything at work other than the paycheck. The friendships that I have are something that I can have whether I work there or not.
*I learned how to ride a motorcycle.

June 2008
*I decide to be bold and take another fake sick day at work... but then I get sick for real again and have to take a real sick day.
*I almost quit because I was so sure that I had got another job. I did get it but it wasn't enough money, and they put it simply: We can't meet your payment requirements and we don't offer the benefits you currently have so why would you work here?
True, so very true.... So I don't quit.
*Surprise email from a friend reveals an engagement! Congratulations!

July 2008
*The job hunting continues
*Interviews and appointments are lined up in Canada in preparation for the trip
*Lots of prayers for Randy, as his blog has suddenly become silent
*July 25th - After fighting pancreatic cancer and inspiring millions across the world, Randy Pausch ends his fight against the disease. He passes away at the age of 47.

August 2008
*After years of anticipation, the 2nd X-Files movie is released.... and to my big surprise, lots of people are angry that it's not as 'sci-fi' and 'extra-terrestrial' as most of the series was.... But does anyone not remember that a lot of the cases Mulder and Scully investigated weren't *all* alien oriented? Anyhow its a movie that I get to go see with one of my best friends. Thoroughly enjoyed it actually... We also go see Mamma Mia!
*I found a job in Canada, typed up a resignation letter... and just as I was about to hit "send", I get a friend to proof-read it. Then the new boss doesn't call me back, and I can't go see him in person until the day after the flight... So instead of chancing that, I return back to America and back to work, and no one knows [except for three coworkers] that I wasn't supposed to come back. Misery hits all over again and I once again resume looking for another job
*Bernie Mac passes away at 50.

September 2008
*Almost impulsively quit again at work
*Type up lots of resumes, do lots of emailing.
*Use another fake-sick day but this time I don't get sick because I ask God for permission first.
*Packing because my lease is up
*Tax time! Hello Tax stimulus and bye bye refund.... but hello to paid off student loan. I think my credit score went up all of 5 points for having that paid off.
*We're actually the only people in the world that were filing our taxes as hurricane Ike began to make landfall.

October 2008
*Craziest month of the year.
*Moving
*Garage Sale
*Another almost-quit day
*more car repairs
*Happy Birthday to Randy Pausch. He would have been 48
*In Memoriam

November 2008
*The car is officially gone. It is repairable, but it becomes too expensive to repair it.
*Happy Thanksgiving
*Freak accident almost causes me to lose my hand. Extremely thankful to God this month.

December 2008
*New car!
*Merry Christmas!
*I make a promise with God unlike any other promise that I've made, and I give a total stranger 100 dollars.

Just a few highlights... Its interesting to see what I started, what I did, and what I never finished..... Definitely going to use this list tomorrow as things I need to focus on more for the new year.

I think its kind of bad that almost every month out of the year I contemplated quitting my job or looked for other jobs. hahahaha

The Year of Randy Pausch, if I had to name it anything.

Happy New Year to All!

Here is your last fortune for 2008:

ONE WORD FREES US OF ALL THE WEIGHT AND PAIN IN LIFE. THAT WORD IS "LOVE"

Sunday, December 28, 2008

3 day weekend! WOOHOO!

I remember the first time I took a three day weekend at work. I used a 'fake sick day', in that my doctor's appointment was really Thursday afternoon after work, not Friday. But I got the note and prescription all the same for my cover story, and used the actual sick time the next day.

That weekend was awesome! I took a nice long road trip far far away from the confinement of 'the cube' and put on a disguise that no one would recognize me in since the plan was to get my picture plastered on as many websites as possible. [50+, I lost count]

And then.... God smacked me and made me sick the entire week at work. So sick that I ended up using a real sick day.

I was stupid, I should have asked God for permission. And my friends that don't get more than 2 sick days a year at their jobs convinced me that sick time was 'vacation days in disguise'.

Anyhow, I get another three day weekend coming up tomorrow - the 3rd day. Like that last weekend, I shall make another ridiculously long trip in the car only to get a mere hour or two of fun somewhere else, and then spend an equally ridiculously long time coming back. No disguise this time, and no internet poster girl ambitions. Just hunting for some rare dives and pictures of another place.

Since I'm actually at my own computer now, I can leave you with a fortune!

AN EMPTY STOMACH IS NOT A GOOD POLITICAL ADVISOR

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Somewhere on the other side of the world, there is someone who will share in the excitement with me....

I finally got my hands on the 3rd album by The Black Mages

There is no way to explain my giddy-ness for this:

Part One and part two of the opera scene from FF6. Thank You Nobuo Uematsu!! THIS is the song I've wanted you guys to rock out to since the first album!!!!

I'm a nerd, I know. But back in 1994 when my young music loving soul heard this for the first time, it was a pivotal moment in my musical life. *This* is what flipped that switch in my head that says, Hey - videogames can be more than fun. They can be musical too.

The world of videogames was never the same for me after this opera sequence. From then on I only played what sounded cool.

And just in case you're curious, here's what I heard 14 years ago:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Thanks to the cool person that sent the album this way! You rock!! :) Now I have something cool to put on the awesome mp3 player Santa gave me!!

Friday, December 26, 2008

To Everyone Who Doesn't Have To Work Today....

You suck.

All ten of us that had to come into work today envy you and your whole day after Christmas that you have to play with the cool toys Santa brought yesterday.

Even all the authority figures aren't here.

Hmmm..... that makes for an interesting scenario though -- does that mean I can leave early?

No... because with my luck, even though there is no one of superiority here, I'll get a customer that needs something that only someone-who-isn't-here can help them with. And it will be worse if I'm not here and they need something. Its better to be here to tell them that they wasted their time coming here because Professor X is busy far away from here recruiting more mutants, and they need to come back next week. Only they won't come back next week, because on the way out the door Magneto will recruit them instead... and it will have been the same as if I wasn't here in the first place, so I may as well leave early... but I can't

That made absolutely no sense, haha

But to get back to the point.

I have to work today and you don't. But I shall have my revenge when I don't have to work on Monday! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

So I stand corrected....

Apparently Ice Age is going to get a 24 hour marathon on Christmas Day too.

Well they hadn't announced that when I wrote the previous post so :P on FX network!!!!!!!!11!!11111one!!oneone11!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Happy Holidays, part 2

Now that you've seen the video of how to survive the holidays [in the previous post], I present to you my holiday movie picks!

[*note - these are in no particular order, and are not ranked from best to worst or anything like that. :p]

Here we go!


1. Jumanji
Okay I know its not entirely 'holiday movie' material, but it opens and closes with a Christmas party, and the movie originally had a Christmas Day theatrical release back in 1995. And the actual board game produced to go along with the movie was the hot christmas gift the following year. :)

2. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
This is excellent reassurance that your screwed up family is actually quite normal..... It also reminds you that it doesn't matter that your Christmas bonus isn't as big as the last one - there's someone out there that probably didn't get one even though he spent it already.

3. The Polar Express
I read this book a million times as a kid, and even read it to my class in 3rd grade. Never lose your childlike wonder, as Randy Pausch said. This movie is a good way to do that.

4. Serendipity
Because leaving the greatest night of your life to fate, and then having fate give you what you want in the end... is awesome. Especially on Christmas

5.While You Were Sleeping
All I have to say about this one is five little words. 'I was gonna marry him...'

6. The Family Stone
I'll admit it, when I saw the promo movie poster that had Sarah Jessica Parker's name on it, I didn't even want to bother with this. But it unexpectedly appeared in my DVD player one day, and it has been one of my favorites ever since. A picture is truly the best gift of all for Christmas.

7. Edward Scissorhands
Its creepy, its not nearly as holiday themed as the rest of the movies on this list, and it even has some blood in it... but its still a must see this holiday season. White Christmases take on new meaning once you've seen this one.

8. A Christmas Story
This also goes along the same lines of keeping the childlike wonder. Plus, TBS has a 24-hour marathon of this every year! What other movies can you name that get a 24 hour marathon ever? Oh I don't know... NONE! :)

9. Its a Wonderful Life
Every time a star lights up, an angel gets his wings.

10. A Charie Brown Christmas
Christmas is definitely not about the size of the tree, or how many gifts are under it.

11. The Wizard of Oz
Not Christmas oriented in the least.... but here's a 'Did You Know' tidbit -- ask your parents or grandparents, they'll tell you. Every year this movie used to air extremely close to Christmas, and all across America people would take this day off, gather the family around, and all pile onto the couch to watch The Wizard of Oz. It was a national holiday whenever this came on TV. So its a holiday movie pick in my book!

12. Mickey's Christmas Carol
I should probably list the original one instead of this Disney remake. Or maybe even the Muppets version. Or how about Scrooged, with Bill Murray, since that's the same thing. But I know you agree with me - Mickey Mouse does make the lesson - it's more important to give than to receive at Christmas - more fun.

13. Autumn in New York
Time is precious, and you should make every second of it count.

14. Home Alone 1 & 2
They're both kinda the same movie, and they're not up to today's standards by any means. But they had a comedic magic about them during their time, and they still teach you that no matter how big your family is, it's not complete without the little bastard that causes all the trouble, especially around the holidays.

15. Gremlins
Oh come on.... Gizmo is cute!

16. Miracle on 34th Street
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus...

17.You've Got Mail
I wanted to put Sleepless in Seattle here instead, but this is more christmas themed [even though Sleepless in Seattle does open with holiday times.] And ta-dah, its Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks so its like the same movie anyway! :)

18. The Nightmare Before Christmas
I've only seen this once actually, and I'm not really a big fan of it.... but I only include it because I know someone who will get mad if I don't, and they'll whine at the fact that I put Edward Scissorhands on here but not this. So there you go. This movie seriously freaks me out and I personally wouldn't go running to see it again. Its scary

19. The Nutcracker
That's not a movie, that's a ballet! Yes I know that but there was a movie style adaptation of it once. And you might not realize why you have a nutcracker somewhere in your house that you take out specifically around christmas. Its because of this.

20. The Nativity Story
Because this is what the true meaning of Christmas is.

Anyhow, happy watching!

Fortune time!

TRAVEL WITH A LIGHT HEART AND HAPPY EXPECTATIONS

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Happy Holidays

Here's an accidental fun picture:



It looks like the place is a mess but its actually not, the Good Old tree is sitting on a shelf that has a bunch of bills on it, and the fisheye effect makes it look like there's mess everywhere.

And now, some must-know information for surviving the holidays from my favorite guy on youtube:



I love him... I really do. :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I am not from Texas.....

So I was watching The Biggest Loser, and I was all, Hooray Texas! Go Michelle! Go Jillian's Team for winning yet again! I was jumping up and down saying 'Woohoo! Go Dallas girl! I knew you could win it!'

But then.....

*dramatic heavy sigh*

....the next tv show came on.

'Mamma's Boys.'

And suddenly, being from Texas has become the worst thing to hit reality tv.

Dallas contestant trying to win herself a mamma's boy has been to jail.

Houston contestant has 'stainless steel cantelope sized balls' [hypothetically speaking she says]

....and Corpus Christi is on crack.

I swear it, she's on crack. The first 5 seconds of watching her will prove it.

So there you have it.

I am not from Texas anymore.

Fortune time:

YOUR PERSONALITY DEFINES YOU

Sunday, December 14, 2008

One Tree to rule them all....

See...... having a small tree isn't all that bad.



'Cause... ya know... I don't exactly have a 100 foot roof to put THIS thing in. I don't even think that accumulating christmas ornaments for the past 20 something years is enough to fill a tree this size.

Oh wait... I almost forgot -- I don't have an 18-wheeler that big to put that in.

HAHAHA

Okay all joking aside, I happened to have the trusty camera in tow on an outing that led to a mall with a surprisingly massive tree. Had to take a picture since that's probably the biggest tree I'll get to see for a while.

One of these days though I'm going to make it to Madison Square Garden and see them light that super huge tree...

Anyway, time for a fortune:

WILL POWER IS HABIT FORMING.

Friday, December 12, 2008

It's not shiny or aluminum... nor is it painted pink...

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree....



And I'm totally not kidding. That's really our Christmas Tree this year. It's not bad at all really... It just needs a little love. ;)

The funny thing here though is that I actually paid money for it, rather than getting the only thing left on the tree farm... or whatever you call those places.

And the best part is that it took all of 30 seconds to assemble and doesn't require figuring out how to untangle and evenly distribute lights, or climbing on a ladder to stick anything on top. Good Old tree stands a little over 1 foot tall. :)

Not that I'm knocking anyone else's trees or anything like that. I love christmas trees and half the fun of christmas is unpacking the previous year's decor and bringing in the chrismas atmosphere by putting up a tree. This year's just a bit different.

So there you have it!

Fortune time!

THE MOST RIGID TREES ARE THE FIRST TO BE SNAPPED WHEN THE WIND BLOWS

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Shopping For Cars...

I know there's snow outside, and I know that I haven't posted my christmas tree picture yet..... but I thought I'd take a moment to inform you of the dangers of shopping for cars.

I had a very very low budget to work with, so one of my first stops was used car lots. Hey guess what, mom says, I used to work by this used car lot. Its a park and sell lot, she says. Its for sale by owner, and people park their cars there and you go look at them...

Cool, I say. Lets go see.

We pull up to this lot that has a mysterious gate around it. But its open so we drive in. We park, we wander, we write down ID numbers... all the cars are listed online, so you take the ID and look up the car numbers and find out how to contact people that way.

Suddenly, without any warning at all, the mysterious gate closes.

Its ok, mom says, it should open like an apartment complex... we'll drive up to it and it will let us out.

Suddenly, like clockwork or something..... THIS appears from out of nowhere...



and suddenly we become very aware the 'beware of dog! Guard dog on duty' signs

TIME TO GO! mom says

Agree! I say

We jump in our car, and rev it up. We pull up to the gate to leave...... but it doesn't open.

Pull up closer, I say

Do you want me to make this gate a hood ornament, mom says

Suddenly....... another thing becomes painfully obvious. A keypad on either side of the gate.... to let you in, and to let you out.

What do we do? mom says

Pray that Kujo doesnt chew through metal? I suggest

So we're stuck...... and our lovely 4 legged maneater is waiting for us.

There's no one to call to get a code.

Then I say, OH I know! The cars! The ID numbers! I can call someone with internet access, and they can get on that website, give me a number to call a car owner, and BS them a little and say, I want to buy your car, but now i'm locked in... whats the code to get out?

Mom says, Great Idea! But Kujo might disagree with you.... so I have a plan.



What?? ALMONDS?? I say

Yes, she confidently proclaims as she pulls out her leftovers from lunch. Give kujo these almonds, and he will be nice.

Uhhh.....

You have to watch this video, right about two minutes into it....



I kind of laughed at her suggestion like that.

Then I had to stop because Kujo didn't like it..

Anyhow, after some time Kujo gets distracted long enough for me to run out of the warmth of our car, jot down a phone number that is listed on a pontiac, and run back without being eaten.

We explain to the car owner that we want to buy his car/are interested, and wouldn't you know it, we just got locked into the lot.... does he know the code to get out?

'Oh Golly! Wow! I can't believe they locked you in.... Let me find a phone number to the owner of the lot. But while I'm looking... let me tell you about my car..'

Oh my gosh oh my gosh DUDE! Just get us out of here!!! We don't care that its a v6 turbo standard engine with custom rims and can do 0-60 in 3 seconds. Nor do we care that the steering wheel is custom, and that the seats were newly upholstered, and that the engine was modified to sound louder. We're FEMALES! We don't care how it works or how it runs, we just want a way out so we can PEE!

Anyway a good 10 minutes on the phone with this guy leads nowhere and the phone number he gives us goes to voicemail.

Kujo is still lurking in the darkness, waiting for us, and its been a while since we left the owner a message. No luck in reaching anyone at home with internet to find any other phone numbers.

So we called the 'five-oh', and in two hours [after passing by several times due to the bad not very visible location] they finally rescued us. GI Joe must have retired and picked up a badge because the guy that came to our rescue scaled the 8 foot fence in a single leap, and hotwired the fence from the inside to let us out.

We were locked in for about two and a half hours.

We contemplated sleeping there until someone found us.

We debated on me attempting to scale the fence myself and go stand in a visible area to flag down a policeman... but Kujo didn't let that happen.

There were a lot of 'maybes' and 'what if we do this' suggestions.

All in all....

Don't ever go shopping for a car that is surrounded by a gate.

EVER

No good will come of it, and Kujo will eat you.

Anyway, consider this post your Lesson One for car buying.

Fortune time!!

AS THE BIG HOUND IS, SO WILL THE PUP BE.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Lord, move in a way that I've never seen before.... 'Cause there's a mountain in the way, and a lock on the door.....

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the key to that locked door.

its new

I owe ya big time. You're the best! :)

THANKYOU JESUS!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

And so now I journey into the wild...

I need a car today! Send some prayers, happy thoughts, good vibes, etc. my way please!!

Its do or die today because I run out of borrowed time at 5pm tonight.

I'll report back tonight with good results God willing!! :)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

ER 101

So now that I can type with two hands again, I present to you the lessons I learned while sitting in the emergency room.

First lets define emergency, courtesy of dictionary.com

1. e⋅mer⋅gen⋅cy
    [i-mur-juhn-see] noun, plural -cies, adjective
–noun / a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action.

Now that you know what it means, here's the rules.

First rule.

Your kid's snotty nose does not warrant a trip to the ER. Especially if he is well and able enough to run around smacking the back of everyone's chairs, shake the vending machine until it breaks, or scream at random for no reason.

This also means that you do not have to bring the kids brothers and sisters who are not sick or have no emergency. You also don't have to bring their cousins. Or their uncle. Or grandma and grandpa and the rest of the extended family.

I mean seriously?? For a snotty nose?? Why the heck would you pile up so many people for?

You do not need to be in the emergency room for that. You need to go to HEB or Kroger and go to the medicine aisle and get some kid's cough and cold cherry syrup and stop taking up every single chair available. Sicker more emergency-stricken people could use them.

And should you disregard this rule, then you are hereby ordered to put your kids, cousins, and any other person that is not old enough to drink, on a tight leash and keep them in your immediate reaching radius.

Next rule

An emergency room is NOT a restaurant. There are no reservations, there is no one to wait on you and give you whatever you want when you snap your fingers, nor is anyone obligated to take orders from you. YOU have an emergency, and you are not in a position to be a mean [swear word], because the people you are working so diligently to piss off can decide that your emergency isn't important..... and that leaves you back at square one.

So mister 'I have a business in Market Street and have giant gas guzzling cars' - if your tush gets out of your chair when the waiting room is standing room only, every man for himself ER - I will **not** hold your spot. Didn't you ever hear the saying, 'move your meat, lose your seat'? And how dare you try to demand that after you walk away for 30 minutes - HALF AN HOUR - that I move once you return so you can have your seat back. This is not a restaurant, and there are no reservations. No no guy, don't mess with me. ESPECIALLY when I'm in pain and clearly have more of an emergency than your moneybags have ever seen or known. Its not my fault that your penny loafers don't know what solid ground feels like since you've apparently bullied everyone around you into thinking they need to act as your footstool. Maybe if you offered me some of your mountains of cash that you brag about, I might be inclined to do you that small favor instead of you demanding that I am lesser than you and therefore should listen to your money. Go buy yourself some manners and social skills.

Next rule

Don't be drunk. Drinking, you see, is supposed to be in moderation. Being DRUNK in a place that's not a bar is considered public intoxication, which will get you arrested. And if you showed up to the hospital drunk, you probably drove. And drinking while intoxicated is illegal. And OH YEAH -- hospital staff do blood tests, and if you have an illegal amount of alcohol in your system, the good old boys in blue will be paying you a visit. Hospital staff, you see, can't be held liable for letting a person who has a BAC over the legal limit back on the street... because you might hit someone, and that someone might sue the hospital for not sending you off safely. So you get to go to jail instead.

Next rule

Dude...... your stab wound, blood stained hands, and dirty torn up clothes tell the whole story. You obviously fought with someone, and they got the better of you. And you look like you were probably not 'fighting' with someone, but rather ATTACKING someone, and they got the upperhand and showed you something you weren't expecting, therefore your crime that you tried to commit just got rained on.

Don't go to the hospital. They will call the police because you look suspicious.

The patients in the waiting room will call the police because you look like the guy I just saw on America's Most Wanted, and we overheard you calling your buddy on your cellphone, panic stricken, telling them how you 'cant talk right now' but things didnt go as planned.

Next rule

The phonebook by the telephone is a resource material for people who might need to use it to perhaps call a number listed in it. You may not give it to your kids as a toy to tear pages out of and throw paper balls or paper airplanes or make spit wads out of.

Next rule

NO TEXT MESSAGING DARN IT! The sick lady who is obviously having an emergency cannot sleep when your text messages keep ringing every 2 seconds. PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL THAT PERSON -- don't spend 3 hours sending 10 words back and forth. And if you choose to disregard this rule, put your phone on SILENT!

Next rule

The tv on closed captioning lets those of us who can't hear the tv know whats going on despite your loud phone conversation, shouting screaming kids, and ringing text messages. We all just saw what happened. You do not need to keep recapping for us. 'OH MAN Did you just see that! So and so just did this!

I know. The person next to me knows. EVERYONE knows. We all are staring at the tv because we're pretending not to notice the rest of the annoyances, and we're biting our tongue so we dont lash out at stupid penny loafers who is demanding that sick people wait on him. We are paying more attention to the tv than we do in our own homes. Really, you don't need to narrate for us.

Next rule

Do NOT socialize with the drunk man! He'll think he's in a bar and then try to hit on the rest of us! Seriously!!

Next rule

Do try and make an effort to listen for your name. Don't ask me if they called your name because I don't know your name... we haven't even met. And I'm not interested in meeting people in the emergency room. I'm interested in getting my emergency taken care of

Anyhow I can keep going... but this should be enough learning material for you today.

As for the doctors, nurses, interns, reception desk, and other hospital staff - you guys were awesome and gave me some fantastic care! But get a police officer to do security detail. Then he would have thrown drunk guy away, and I could have told the noisy kids that the 'man in the uniform over there is watching you so BE QUIET!!', and maybe penny loafers would have realized that you don't have power unless you have a .22 strapped to your waist and a badge pinned to your chest.

[Police officers are awesome, and I have the utmost respect and admiration for them, by the way. :) ]

So there you have it. As GI JOE Would say...

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Fortune time!

SUPPORT BACTERIA -- IT'S THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE!